Sarah~ I’m glad you enjoyed them! I am moving this week so I won’t be posting regularly, but I will be back to posting at least twice weekly after that

Joshua~ Thanks! I love how you phrased this. I’ve lived life in my head for a long time, allowing myself to believe excessive thought was the same as active involvement in the world. Now that I see the difference I am so glad I pushed myself. Still have to push myself a lot, but awareness is a huge step.

We construct amazing things in our minds when we should be learning to do things with our bodies.

It’s not even the difficulty of pushing yourself into new experiences, it’s instead about not being comfortable. Comfort is overrated. It doesn’t promote risk-taking, tells you to settle, and makes you live life on the couch instead of out…in general.

That’s me agreeing. On the counterargument side, I think you can grow to love and enjoy watching movies, reading books, looking at photos, just because. It makes you happy, it makes you get out of your comfort zone, exposing you to things, ideas, people you may never have imagined. I always played soccer better after watching it. Same with vicarious experiences. Some people aren’t cut out for extroverted mingling and need a little nudge. It’s not just shyness, it’s confidence, or the lack thereof.

Living through someone else’s skin first can boost you into gear for living through your own, and that’s not so bad.

“…the past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in any form. Both are illusions…break the old pattern of present moment denial and present moment resistance. Make it your practice to withdraw attention from past and future whenever they are not needed…If then you become excessively focused on a goal, perhaps because you are seeking happiness, fulfillment or a more complete sense of self in it, the Now is no longer honored.”

To play the devil’s advocate, I ask you this: if you live your now fantasizing about a relationship–biding your time until you can act, praying for it–and then that person meets and marries someone else, how valuable was that time you spent fantasizing beyond the enjoyment you got through indulging it? I don’t know the answer; and I don’t mean to negate your comment. I’m just wondering if fantasizing in that way is an avoidance tactic that allows us to escape what is instead of embracing it.

You make excellent points about wasting the present moment and fantasizing, but when you are depressed or gravely ill, fantasies get you through it. They are much better than wallowing in self pity and grief.

You have to analyze what you’re doing to see if you’re avoiding someone or a problem by fantasizing. Sometimes, though, you have to wait to realize your fantasies. This happens when someone really loves another person and she has to wait for the right time to act. The waiting is worth it if that man is the love of your life.

If he is just an illusion or not meant for you, though, you have to move on. The difficult part is knowing when to move on and how to do that without breaking your heart. That’s why I pray a lot!

“…if it wasn’t for the fantasy of the future I’d see little reason to struggle through the pain of the present.”

I’m wondering, if we view the present as something to struggle through, alleviated by fantasies of a better future, when does the present moment become that something better? When does the ideal we imagine become reality instead of the pain we want to escape?

Nadia~ I agree with you, and to some extent, I think advances in technology encourage us to “play it safe.” Instead of being fully present in a new and potentially scary situation, we pull out our iPhones and tweet about it.

Christina~ How nice to see you here! I’m so glad you enjoyed this post and that it gave you a boost of motivation. I’m giving myself a little mental kick, too =)

Mike~ You make some great points, first about the illusion of control. When you receive emotional benefits from watching life, you don’t have the same risk of pain, as in the Freud quote. And I agree with you about a balance between pretending and doing. We pretend as kids because it prepares us for life. The only problem occurs when we don’t take the preparation into the real world.

Tina~ Thank you! You bring up a great point about self-help books. If you actually apply the knowledge, I agree they’re quite useful. I was thinking about times when I’ve read a self-help book but not actually done anything with the information. Seems kind of silly, I know, but I’ve done it! It’s almost like I’ve tricked myself into believing just buying and reading the book was sufficient effort.

Mike~ “I get the immediate joy and benefits from imagining, but then get to hit the grand running as I enter real life.” <—I think this nicely sums up how to effectively leverage your imagination for real-world benefits. Thanks for sharing this =)

Erica~ Yes! That’s exactly what I was talking about. I think it’s very common for writers particularly. Our work is to conceptualize and imagine. Useful activities for what we create, but if not balanced with activity, it can leave you feeling a bit disconnected from reality.

I think that it’s all about finding a balance. Thanks for this post <3