Comments on: Is Kindness a Weakness? http://lorideschene.com/is-kindness-a-weakness/ Lori Deschene Personal Blog Sun, 15 Aug 2010 02:13:34 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Another Australian http://lorideschene.com/is-kindness-a-weakness/comment-page-1/#comment-2210 Another Australian Wed, 07 Jul 2010 03:10:23 +0000 http://seeinggood.com/?p=789#comment-2210 Hi Lori Firstly what a great website. I only come across it last night. I am 45 & going through a midlife type crisis & found your wonderful site to cheer me up. I believe that $100 you lost & the credit card money to get those guys back in business will be returned to you ten fold in your life. I once met a girl (Suzie) down at my gym who I'd only known for a few weeks & who I only knew for a few months before we lost contact. Anyway I lent her a book (name escapes me), anyway after reading it she came in & told me that I'd changed her whole life by lending her that book. Anyway a couple of weeks later I was a touch down as I was working casually as I returned to study a business course at age 30 after leaving high school early & had no money left to pay my rent nor money for food. I phoned who I thought was one of my best mates & someone who I'd lent money from my credit card on a cash advance once which took my credit card over the limit. I asked him for a lend & the answer was no as he was saving for a house. I was devestated. Anyway on the same day I got a phone call from Suzie asking why I hadn't been down to the gym etc. She told me I sounded down & asked me if I had girl troubles to which I replied "no", then she asked me if I had money troubles & before I could reply Suzie offered me to lend me a few hundred dollars if I needed it. I sheepishly replied I did. I got that money almost immediately & paid Suzie back within a fortnight with some thankyou flowers. I told her the story about my so called best mate refusing to lend me money & she told me of a story where a guy had once refused to lend her money after once lending him money. Anyway the last I heard of Suzie was she met a guy & moved suburbs & gyms after quitting her job. So my book really did change her life. I then met my wife Anne not long after & the rest is history. Unfortunately we lot contact but do you know what Lori, she was like an angel there when I really needed her. My mate.... I also hardly see him...... Lori I beleive that money you lent wasn't wasted. I also believe if the guys were that desparate to steal money from you then they too needed it to survive. I came across a website last year called Kiva.org & love it coz it is helping people help themselves. Having once worked as a nursing attendant in a Cancer Hospital there is no greater satisifaction in life than helping & giving of yourself to people. Lori I for one as a new reader & many of your readers know you already do this through your blogs. Thanking you. Anyway Hi Lori

Firstly what a great website. I only come across it last night. I am 45 & going through a midlife type crisis & found your wonderful site to cheer me up.

I believe that $100 you lost & the credit card money to get those guys back in business will be returned to you ten fold in your life.

I once met a girl (Suzie) down at my gym who I’d only known for a few weeks & who I only knew for a few months before we lost contact. Anyway I lent her a book (name escapes me), anyway after reading it she came in & told me that I’d changed her whole life by lending her that book.

Anyway a couple of weeks later I was a touch down as I was working casually as I returned to study a business course at age 30 after leaving high school early & had no money left to pay my rent nor money for food.

I phoned who I thought was one of my best mates & someone who I’d lent money from my credit card on a cash advance once which took my credit card over the limit. I asked him for a lend & the answer was no as he was saving for a house. I was devestated.

Anyway on the same day I got a phone call from Suzie asking why I hadn’t been down to the gym etc. She told me I sounded down & asked me if I had girl troubles to which I replied “no”, then she asked me if I had money troubles & before I could reply Suzie offered me to lend me a few hundred dollars if I needed it. I sheepishly replied I did.

I got that money almost immediately & paid Suzie back within a fortnight with some thankyou flowers.

I told her the story about my so called best mate refusing to lend me money & she told me of a story where a guy had once refused to lend her money after once lending him money.

Anyway the last I heard of Suzie was she met a guy & moved suburbs & gyms after quitting her job. So my book really did change her life. I then met my wife Anne not long after & the rest is history.

Unfortunately we lot contact but do you know what Lori, she was like an angel there when I really needed her.

My mate…. I also hardly see him……

Lori I beleive that money you lent wasn’t wasted. I also believe if the guys were that desparate to steal money from you then they too needed it to survive.

I came across a website last year called Kiva.org & love it coz it is helping people help themselves.

Having once worked as a nursing attendant in a Cancer Hospital there is no greater satisifaction in life than helping & giving of yourself to people.

Lori I for one as a new reader & many of your readers know you already do this through your blogs. Thanking you.

Anyway

]]> By: Lori Deschene http://lorideschene.com/is-kindness-a-weakness/comment-page-1/#comment-2168 Lori Deschene Sat, 05 Jun 2010 16:40:48 +0000 http://seeinggood.com/?p=789#comment-2168 Kuangbo~ That's such a powerful story. I think you hit the nail on the head that we get attached to money. I've learned never to give away money you're not willing to lose. Otherwise, the debt can make a huge rift in a relationship. Siddhartha~ What a beautiful comment. I love your closing sentence. When I assess my successes, I always remember the moments when I helped people. Though sometimes I feel hurt when people don't meet my expectations, I know the Lori I love gives with all her heart and trusts all will be OK in the end. Having lost a little money here and there hasn't had any negative long-term effects on my health or happiness--so in the end, it IS all OK. Kuangbo~ That’s such a powerful story. I think you hit the nail on the head that we get attached to money. I’ve learned never to give away money you’re not willing to lose. Otherwise, the debt can make a huge rift in a relationship.

Siddhartha~ What a beautiful comment. I love your closing sentence. When I assess my successes, I always remember the moments when I helped people. Though sometimes I feel hurt when people don’t meet my expectations, I know the Lori I love gives with all her heart and trusts all will be OK in the end. Having lost a little money here and there hasn’t had any negative long-term effects on my health or happiness–so in the end, it IS all OK.

]]> By: Siddhartha779 http://lorideschene.com/is-kindness-a-weakness/comment-page-1/#comment-2140 Siddhartha779 Sun, 30 May 2010 08:32:47 +0000 http://seeinggood.com/?p=789#comment-2140 Yes, friend. It is. Actually, it's the key to being st total peace with those around you. It would be logical to have expectations of people in a world where we could all tell the future. So basically we're just setting ourselves up for disappointment. There is good in this world; it's up to us to find it. However, we must learn to become self-sufficient beings in every aspect, including socially(by the way, your strong sense to self and self-validating demeanor is quite impressive and rewarding to see). The first part of this is really understanding that humans are fallible, ourselves included. Even people who are close to you will hurt you from time to time. But `being a self-sufficient being and not holding expectations to people enables you to forgive with more ease and to have an unselfish love for those in your life. So was your charitable decision a lapse in judgment? The argument could be made that you can help people, but also hold back when it seems like you're being had. But the thing is, darned if you do, darned if you don't. But truthfully, the person who goes above and beyond to help others, not worrying about any possible lost to themselves, who is kind and compassionate all the time, knows the true meaning of kindness. Blessed be! Yes, friend. It is. Actually, it’s the key to being st total peace with those around you. It would be logical to have expectations of people in a world where we could all tell the future. So basically we’re just setting ourselves up for disappointment. There is good in this world; it’s up to us to find it. However, we must learn to become self-sufficient beings in every aspect, including socially(by the way, your strong sense to self and self-validating demeanor is quite impressive and rewarding to see). The first part of this is really understanding that humans are fallible, ourselves included. Even people who are close to you will hurt you from time to time. But `being a self-sufficient being and not holding expectations to people enables you to forgive with more ease and to have an unselfish love for those in your life. So was your charitable decision a lapse in judgment? The argument could be made that you can help people, but also hold back when it seems like you’re being had. But the thing is, darned if you do, darned if you don’t. But truthfully, the person who goes above and beyond to help others, not worrying about any possible lost to themselves, who is kind and compassionate all the time, knows the true meaning of kindness. Blessed be!

]]> By: Kuangbao! http://lorideschene.com/is-kindness-a-weakness/comment-page-1/#comment-488 Kuangbao! Thu, 07 Jan 2010 10:54:50 +0000 http://seeinggood.com/?p=789#comment-488 i knew a girl who has suffered in business and was trying to make it big, working long hours in a MLM...she had store front in local train station, i used to visit her there to support her when she is feeling low.. one day she asked me for 10,000Yuan to help keep her business going, i turned her down because of my attachment to money, a week later my usual visit to her shop, i discovered her shop had been closed...now i go there every week to remind myself to not be attached to money, because at that time she could have used it a lot more than i needed it.. i knew a girl who has suffered in business and was trying to make it big, working long hours in a MLM…she had store front in local train station, i used to visit her there to support her when she is feeling low.. one day she asked me for 10,000Yuan to help keep her business going, i turned her down because of my attachment to money, a week later my usual visit to her shop, i discovered her shop had been closed…now i go there every week to remind myself to not be attached to money, because at that time she could have used it a lot more than i needed it..

]]> By: I Got Your Blind Side | Seeing Good http://lorideschene.com/is-kindness-a-weakness/comment-page-1/#comment-487 I Got Your Blind Side | Seeing Good Thu, 07 Jan 2010 04:05:31 +0000 http://seeinggood.com/?p=789#comment-487 [...] alone in the rain. It’s an unfortunate truth that the world provides valid reasons for operating with suspicion on occasion. Sometimes that man in the road is Charles [...] [...] alone in the rain. It’s an unfortunate truth that the world provides valid reasons for operating with suspicion on occasion. Sometimes that man in the road is Charles [...]

]]> By: What Do You Have That No One Can Take Away? | Seeing Good http://lorideschene.com/is-kindness-a-weakness/comment-page-1/#comment-486 What Do You Have That No One Can Take Away? | Seeing Good Thu, 12 Nov 2009 08:46:41 +0000 http://seeinggood.com/?p=789#comment-486 [...] a cheap single-room occupancy building–much like a dorm, except for drugs addicts, former homeless people, and little girls [...] [...] a cheap single-room occupancy building–much like a dorm, except for drugs addicts, former homeless people, and little girls [...]

]]> By: Why Bad Things Happen to Positive People | Seeing Good http://lorideschene.com/is-kindness-a-weakness/comment-page-1/#comment-485 Why Bad Things Happen to Positive People | Seeing Good Tue, 29 Sep 2009 06:11:30 +0000 http://seeinggood.com/?p=789#comment-485 [...] Related Post: Is Kindness a Weakness? [...] [...] Related Post: Is Kindness a Weakness? [...]

]]> By: Lori Deschene http://lorideschene.com/is-kindness-a-weakness/comment-page-1/#comment-484 Lori Deschene Wed, 06 May 2009 07:26:15 +0000 http://seeinggood.com/?p=789#comment-484 Hi Raymond~ Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! "Eventually, we will all find ourselves amongst questionable situations; but what counts is how well we choose to deal with it, so we may guide it to an ideal conclusion for as many parties as possible." <--well said! My favorite quote is "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond." I think this is one of the most important attitudes to embrace in life because it keeps you empowered regardless of the circumstances. Hi Raymond~ Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! “Eventually, we will all find ourselves amongst questionable situations; but what counts is how well we choose to deal with it, so we may guide it to an ideal conclusion for as many parties as possible.” <–well said! My favorite quote is “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond.” I think this is one of the most important attitudes to embrace in life because it keeps you empowered regardless of the circumstances.

]]> By: Raymond Crandall http://lorideschene.com/is-kindness-a-weakness/comment-page-1/#comment-483 Raymond Crandall Sun, 03 May 2009 02:11:39 +0000 http://seeinggood.com/?p=789#comment-483 You are all very insightful and I enjoyed reading what everyone had to say. This has been on my mind a lot lately. I have sort of come to a conclusion that this is not exclusive to people, although it is almost always caused by people. Anything good will almost always end up being exploited, simply because someone who is not as well equipped to make their own way, wants to better themselves; and unfortunately, regardless of how aware they they are, the consequences are usually left to the proprietor to deal with. It ties in with a concept I came up with a few weeks ago: Eventually, we will all find ourselves amongst questionable situations; but what counts is how well we choose to deal with it, so we may guide it to an ideal conclusion for as many parties as possible. Thanks again for a great post Lori :) if any of you guys want to talk about this or other interesting things gimme a yell: @theCrandallSter You are all very insightful and I enjoyed reading what everyone had to say.

This has been on my mind a lot lately. I have sort of come to a conclusion that this is not exclusive to people, although it is almost always caused by people.

Anything good will almost always end up being exploited, simply because someone who is not as well equipped to make their own way, wants to better themselves; and unfortunately, regardless of how aware they they are, the consequences are usually left to the proprietor to deal with.

It ties in with a concept I came up with a few weeks ago:

Eventually, we will all find ourselves amongst questionable situations; but what counts is how well we choose to deal with it, so we may guide it to an ideal conclusion for as many parties as possible.

Thanks again for a great post Lori :)

if any of you guys want to talk about this or other interesting things gimme a yell: @theCrandallSter

]]> By: Lori Deschene http://lorideschene.com/is-kindness-a-weakness/comment-page-1/#comment-482 Lori Deschene Wed, 29 Apr 2009 04:29:03 +0000 http://seeinggood.com/?p=789#comment-482 Hi Cathy! Thanks for commenting. I love the point you make about the payoffs we seek. Loving kindness has no ulterior motive--no expectations. I think we are all capable of it, but it requires self-awareness and courage. I also think it takes a lot of strength to be kind to ourselves. Why is it so tempting to hold on the burdens of the world on our own shoulders? Hi Cathy! Thanks for commenting. I love the point you make about the payoffs we seek. Loving kindness has no ulterior motive–no expectations. I think we are all capable of it, but it requires self-awareness and courage. I also think it takes a lot of strength to be kind to ourselves. Why is it so tempting to hold on the burdens of the world on our own shoulders?

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